Let's talk about a topic that, while crucial, can sometimes be a bit daunting: navigating difficult conversations with our partners.
The words "we need to talk" can send shivers down anyone's spine, especially when it comes to discussing intimacy or lack there of with our partners.
But fear not! The key to a productive and positive conversation lies in how we approach it.
Here are four phrases to avoid and what you can say instead to foster a healthier, more fulfilling dialogue about sex.
Why: It's accusatory and can make your partner defensive.
Try Instead: “I’d love to explore ___ more with you. Can we talk about what might be holding us back?”
>> This opens a safe space for expressing desires and understanding hesitations, laying the groundwork for mutual exploration and comfort.
Why: It can shame your partner for their desires.
Try Instead: “I’m not sure if it’s for me, but I'm interested in hearing more about why it excites you.”
>> This approach shows care for your partner's feelings and invites deeper emotional intimacy, even if you decide not to pursue the act.
Why: It places blame and overlooks the shared responsibility in achieving orgasm.
Try Instead: “I’d love to come more often during sex. Could we explore what might work together?”
>> Framing the conversation as a joint adventure in pleasure encourages collaboration and experimentation, which can be both fun and fulfilling.
Why: It implies judgment and insecurity about your partner's preferences.
Try Instead: Express curiosity and a willingness to learn about and participate in your partner's pleasure. “I’m curious about your enjoyment of sex toys. Can we explore using them together?”
>> Understanding and participating in each other’s pleasure can enhance your intimacy and show that toys are partners, not competitors, in your sexual relationship.
Although sometimes uncomfortable, conversations about your needs, your likes, your dislikes and anything in between will bring you and your partner closer together than ever. 👩❤️👨
Remember, your partner is not a mind reader and although tough conversations are not easy to have, they do get easier over time as you and your partner open up to hearing each other and understanding each other.
Navigating conversations about intimacy with compassion, curiosity, and open communication can transform potential conflict into an opportunity for growth and deeper connection.
Remember, it's not about compromising your boundaries but about understanding each other's desires and finding joyful ways to explore intimacy together.
To help you open up the conversation with your partner, grab a copy of our The Art Of Erotic Communication - Master the language of desire ebook.
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